Some people love secrets.
For me, secrets are a subcategory of lies. And ive done enough lying in my life.
I don’t mean those silly little lies that save some ones hurt feelings or stop nuclear fallouts…mind you im not one to shy away from confrontation do i struggle with telling the little lies, too. I mean the big suckers.
Theres a lot i don’t say here because of secrets and lies. Its hard because i know in some way they need to be kept for some time but i cant stand being limited by someone elses choices.
Its also a struggle for me because for 5 years of my life I was told to lie to someone i loved by someone i loved. And i still struggle with the guilt and shame of those years and all if the hurt it caused. And yes, i know i was just a child and none of it was my fault. I know this, deeply, but i still have those feelings…and i have to acknowledge them. I no longer allow those feelings to make me feel like bad person or feed any negative thoughts but its been a long hard road to get to here and i wont let that happen again.