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my definition…is this

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my definition…is this

Do you struggle with failure?

I fucking do. Actually, it’s the fear of failure. Sometimes it terrifies me. It’s also stopped me from doing things…probably even held me back from being me.

I don’t do things because the fear of not being perfect at it straight away consumes me. How ridiculous! I only attempt things I’m fairly certain I’ll succeed at in one try. Think about that. All the things I’ve not done because I MIGHT fail.

I’m faced with that failure today and I’ve had my cry but it’s not going to hold me back this time. It’s my weigh day today and I gained 3lbs this week.

Does that suck? Yes.

Does it make me feel a bit shitty? Yep!

Does it mean I’ve failed? Just this week but not overall.

Does it mean I’M a failure? No, of course not.

Is it an excuse to give up like I’d normally do and go back to what I know and is “safe” in some weird way? Fuck, no!

I’ll dry my cheeks, cuddle my kittycats and jump back on the wagon because failing is only ok IF you keep trying to succeed.

I’m learning.

I’m redefining failure to me.

Failure=success.

bty xx

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fat.

Posted on
fat.

Its a selfie kinda morning and yes, i filtered the bejesus outta this photo.
So this being super fat thing is hard. Its embarrassing. Its humiliating. Its depressing.But im beating it. And a big part of that journey is loving myself more than all that other shit…yes of course more than eating badly or not exercising but also, loving myself more than feeling ashamed or humiliated. Getting past what others think of me. Trusting that those who love me wont judge me.

So i dont venture outside my home much at all. For various reasons…mainly because walking or standing for long periods gives me major pain.
But today, today i am telling that pain to FO and im gonna walk around my back garden. Im still anxious about falling on the wet ground so rainy days im sticking to home. Drier days id like to get around the block.

Here i go!
Dont wish me luck, send me strength and positive energy xxxx
Much love.

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